1. buy one of thoose cool beanie things!
2. try repair my damaged hair. then get a rainbow streeak !
3. get a pandora and fill it with six charms
4. GO TO MELBOURNE!
5. loose 30 kilos in total
6. get waaaaasted
7. get a macbook!
8. get my OWN camera
9. get a job to pay for the things i want to get!
10. get a new wallet
11. go a week without straightening my hair
12. RE-DO my childish room.
13. get a new playboy duvet.
14. go to another rave
15. spend new years with samantha honiss (:
ok . LETS GOO !
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Friday, May 7, 2010
changes
things change. sometimes its a good change. but you cant help thinking what if it didnt change . what if it didnt have to change. especially when it changed because of me.
sitting here. i wonder in the first place why i actually did it? attention maybe. but i think it was because i didnt fit in. i didnt have the storys they had. but looking back at this now. i feel sick as to how i couldve done that to them i was so stupid the whole concept was a stupid mistake that changed everything. and now i wish it hadnt changed. my tears were wasted on fixing this problem . only time could fix this. if only i knew that then.
some people are unbelievably forgiving and if i didnt have their forgiveness i dont know what id do. you see theese people are all amazingly wonderful, unique infact and they each have a personality that lifts me up when im down and always makes me laugh. so i come back to the point that i did this to them i hurt them and for that i will never forgive myself.
time builds back trust but its hard when you know things are always gonna be different we will never be as close as we used to . its brung two people together. and sometimes i remember when i was her and we were that close sometimes i envy the fact that she didnt make the mistake i did and they have a friendship as strong as ours used to be. this hurts me even though i know im the one who brung this hurt on myself.
now this is not a sympathy call . nor is it looking for attention not many people read this stupid blog anyway . so even though this is out in the big wide world. if anyone does see it they will see the honesty and the feelings ive layed out into this typed document. even though lies brung me here in the first place. honesty will keep me out so long and i keep it .
sitting here. i wonder in the first place why i actually did it? attention maybe. but i think it was because i didnt fit in. i didnt have the storys they had. but looking back at this now. i feel sick as to how i couldve done that to them i was so stupid the whole concept was a stupid mistake that changed everything. and now i wish it hadnt changed. my tears were wasted on fixing this problem . only time could fix this. if only i knew that then.
some people are unbelievably forgiving and if i didnt have their forgiveness i dont know what id do. you see theese people are all amazingly wonderful, unique infact and they each have a personality that lifts me up when im down and always makes me laugh. so i come back to the point that i did this to them i hurt them and for that i will never forgive myself.
time builds back trust but its hard when you know things are always gonna be different we will never be as close as we used to . its brung two people together. and sometimes i remember when i was her and we were that close sometimes i envy the fact that she didnt make the mistake i did and they have a friendship as strong as ours used to be. this hurts me even though i know im the one who brung this hurt on myself.
now this is not a sympathy call . nor is it looking for attention not many people read this stupid blog anyway . so even though this is out in the big wide world. if anyone does see it they will see the honesty and the feelings ive layed out into this typed document. even though lies brung me here in the first place. honesty will keep me out so long and i keep it .
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